I was watching some talk show and Jennifer Lopez was on. I don’t remember which one it was, but the host asked her what the hardest part of being a mom was and she said it was the guilt. At first I didn’t understand what she meant and the host wasn’t sure either. She then explained how when you become a mom you have all this guilt regaurding your child. You have guilt if you have to leave them with someone. You have guilt when they are crying and so on…. Read the rest of this entry »

I know it’s Summer time and that is supposed to brighten my days, although it is still a little cloudy and cool here in Oregon, but I am just having such a hard time accepting my new life. I sometimes just want to travel back in time and redo some things. I just can’t believe how much my life has changed in 2 years. I just have such guilt for everything that has changed to make me so unhappy. I did everything. I can only be mad at myself and I feel it every single day.  With all this disappointment in my life right now for my life choices it also unfortunately affects my Nyla Breeze. I feel so overwhelmed and unhappy here with dealing with Oregon and also trying to raise a little girl that I feel like I am done having kids. Read the rest of this entry »