I was watching some talk show and Jennifer Lopez was on. I don’t remember which one it was, but the host asked her what the hardest part of being a mom was and she said it was the guilt. At first I didn’t understand what she meant and the host wasn’t sure either. She then explained how when you become a mom you have all this guilt regaurding your child. You have guilt if you have to leave them with someone. You have guilt when they are crying and so on….
It is so incredibly true. I have never felt so much guilt in my life. Just this morning when Josh wanted to let me sleep in a little and he got up and watched her I could not really get back to sleep. I know that he has so much work right now so I felt bad having him watch her. I always feel like its my job to wake up with her in the morning. I kept hearing Nyla make her little noise that she wants something and I looked down the stairs and she was at the bottom of the stairs wanting to climb up to me. I felt so guilty not being there for her.
Another hard one is having to leave her with someone. Luckily we don’t do this very often cause all our family is in California, but I always feel so guilty to leave her with someone to go out and do something without her. Or even just leaving her with Josh at night to go out shopping. I feel so selfish. I know that I am not but why as a mom do we feel guilty for everything?
Must just be one of those things we inherit as moms.
stephanie June 30, 2010 at 9:32 am
I agree. I feel guilty about everything… If I don’t play with him as much one day, if I didn’t read any books to him that day, if I didn’t know he had a poop diaper for a while… It is pretty crazy how we can let this tear us apart…
But I think it is because we love them so much. If we didn’t care, we wouldn’t feel this guilt. I know you are a great mommy Natalie, and me too. Feeling guilty about this kind of stuff doesn’t seem so bad, I think its good.
PS… I love J.Lo
Kesha Thomas June 30, 2010 at 12:50 pm
It’s tough to get over this feeling. I’ve met a ton of moms who struggle with this, including myself. After a LOT of prayer and trust I’ve come to a point where I am confident I am a good Mom, and there is really nothing I do as a parent that I should feel guilty about, and if there is a time when I actually do feel like I did something wrong (like lose my patience with Cohen) I pray for forgiveness and I ask for forgiveness and I learn from it and move on. No parent is perfect, and we all make mistakes.
Can you recall as a baby, a time that you think your parents should have felt guilty about something they did as a parent? Or a choice they made? Thinking back, wouldn’t you be happy to know your parents found time for themselves to be happy and be better parents?
Nyla is so loved by you and Josh. There is nothing in her life that she is lacking. If you don’t find peace in your heart about parenting, you could live the rest of your life feeling this guilt. God especially does not want this for you, and I know Nyla wouldn’t either!