Today was a great day. The sun was out for good. There were finally no clouds to cover it. After Nyla’s nap we decided to hang out in the backyard instead of going out. I took out my picnic mat, watermelon, goldfish, sunblock, the camera and Nyla’s sippy cup. Nyla started off playing in the sandbox for a while. I just snapped away. Read the rest of this entry »

I was watching some talk show and Jennifer Lopez was on. I don’t remember which one it was, but the host asked her what the hardest part of being a mom was and she said it was the guilt. At first I didn’t understand what she meant and the host wasn’t sure either. She then explained how when you become a mom you have all this guilt regaurding your child. You have guilt if you have to leave them with someone. You have guilt when they are crying and so on…. Read the rest of this entry »

What a great Tuesday it was today. With a great start to yesterday and then a quick 180 that turned that day into an absolute nightmare day, it is such a breath of fresh air to have such a nice day today. I got to sleep in a little bit while Josh got up with Nyla cause I put her to bed the night before. We always start our day off with morning playtime and cartoons. She took a nap around 11am but she is such a bad napper and she woke up about 20 minutes into her nap. Read the rest of this entry »

I know it’s Summer time and that is supposed to brighten my days, although it is still a little cloudy and cool here in Oregon, but I am just having such a hard time accepting my new life. I sometimes just want to travel back in time and redo some things. I just can’t believe how much my life has changed in 2 years. I just have such guilt for everything that has changed to make me so unhappy. I did everything. I can only be mad at myself and I feel it every single day.  With all this disappointment in my life right now for my life choices it also unfortunately affects my Nyla Breeze. I feel so overwhelmed and unhappy here with dealing with Oregon and also trying to raise a little girl that I feel like I am done having kids. Read the rest of this entry »

Happy 1st Birthday to my beautiful baby girl!! Nyla Breeze, you are the joy of my life. You have the most adorable little personality that I just could not live without. What a beautiful little girl you have become! I am so proud to say that I am your Mommy. Read the rest of this entry »